


Take A Picture

by JackTrades



Series: Sex Fails [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Dick Pics, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 23:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6830122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackTrades/pseuds/JackTrades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean interrupts Sam while he is sexting</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take A Picture

Sam scrambled to cover up as Dean burst through the door of their motel with an armful of pizza and beer. Sam's state of undress didn't go unnoticed by Dean. Dean wrenched his head away in disgust, “Oh come on, man! I said I'd be right back. You could've just told me you needed to rub one out and I would have taken longer.” He deposited his bounty on the table in the room. 

Sam had a shirt on but his jeans and boxers were shoved down. He shouted back red-faced, “It's not what it-”

“Bullshit!” Dean noticed Sam's phone on the bed. “Were you watching porn on your phone? Holy shit, share! I can't find shit I can stream on my phone.”

“Dean, no!” Before Sam can stop him, Dean snatched the phone up.  

Dean lit up the screen and saw it was in camera mode, “What the…”

Sam decided to bite the bullet. He stared at the ground so he doesn't have to see the look on Dean's face, “You remember Emily from that case a few weeks back?”

Dean gave it some thought, “Emily? Redhead with the big eyes and even bigger…” He jostled his hands over his chest mimicking breasts. 

Sam huffed, “Yes, Emily with the big eyes and the big tits.”

“Huh,” Dean made a face, “Good for you. She was pretty hot so I can see tugging it to her.” 

Sam was finally annoyed enough to flip the sheets back and get in Dean's face. He somehow managed to multitask redressing with closing the gap between them. “I wasn't jerking off thinking about her.” He snatched the phone out of Dean's hand. “We exchanged numbers and we've been talking… er, texting. Same thing.”

Dean wagged his eyebrows, “So Emily with the big tits has you so hot and bothered that you've got to spank it any chance you get?”

Sam blushed profusely. “No! She's…” Sam sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Don't give me shit about ‘too much information’ because you brought this on yourself… She's really into sexting. We exchanged numbers and she started sending these messages that were really kinda distracting on that djinn case we were working.”

Dean almost looked impressed. “Wow, I didn't peg her as the freaky type.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “You really need to talk to geeky girls more often. Almost all of them are freaks in the sheets.”

Dean actually rubbed his hands together and grinned, “Oh? Am I gonna get stories?” 

_ Fucking Dean would get excited about prying details about his sex life. _ Sam kept that thought to himself. “She keeps sending me pictures. They're really sexy but nothing revealing -”

“So it's pictures of her reading and shit. Whatever, geek.” Dean couldn't resist the opportunity to mess with Sam. He took pride in the bitch face that earned him.

“I hate you.” Sam sighed again, “She asked me to send her a dick pic - which I was in the process of taking when you walked in.”

Dean scoffed, “You really want a picture of your junk just out there in the world?”

Sam laughed, “Who cares? Out of all the shit we've done in our lives, sending dick pics has you questioning things?” 

Dean looked defensive, “Some things should just be private.”

“Prude.” Sam couldn't help the grin on his face. 

Dean took the bait, “No, Dean fucking Winchester is no prude! You should know that better than anyone. You know about everything - and everyone - I've done.” 

“... And yet you're flipping out about a picture of my dick.”

“I'm not flipping over a picture of your dick. I'm just concerned that you can't take it back if you send it… did you send it?” 

Sam blushed again, “Not yet. I… I don't like how the pictures are coming out. They're blurry or the angle is wrong or my hand is too -”

“Wait. You're concerned about  _ photo composition  _ in all of this?” Dean was incredulous.

“Wow, big words. Dean, I'm proud of you.” Now Sam was defensive. “If a girl asks me for a picture, I'm at least going to make sure it's a damn good picture.” 

Silence dragged on before Dean finally asked, “Why?”

Sam was confused. “Why what?”

Dean clarified, “If she wants a picture of the goods, just send it and be done with it.”

Sam scoffed, “Hell no! That shit will be out there forever. If I'm going to send it, it's going to be good.” He continued, “The lighting in here sucks and my arms aren't long enough to get more of my body in the shot. I've gotta balance shit out, you know?”

Dean stared blankly. “Balance?”

Sam’s enthusiasm rose as he continued, “Yeah, balance, I want to make sure it's not blurry and well lit and, you know, just a nice picture to look at… it's just difficult to achieve all that when the camera on my phone is so finicky."

Dean was stunned. “You really are concerned about sending an artful dick pic. It's like your geekiness knows no bounds.”

Sam crossed his arms. “It's not geeky to want a woman to appreciate my body. If my arms were longer I'd definitely get the angle I want…” Dean could see the wheels turning in Sam's brain. Sam continued, “Hey, would you take the picture? I mean, that way I can just crop it and I know it'd be steady -”

“Nope.” Dean threw his arms up in disgust. “Too far, Sammy. Shit like this is why people think we're fuck buddies.” He retrieved his keys from his pocket. “I'm out. I'll be at the bar trying to drink enough to forget this shit ever happened.” 

Dean let the door slam shut behind him. Sam cringed once he had a chance to rethink what he had suggested to Dean. At this point, all he could hope for was Dean actually drinking enough to brain-bleach himself. 

  
So much for Emily. Sam couldn't think about anything remotely sexy without associating her with that awkward Dean encounter. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, critiques, and kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
